This blog entry was originally posted on July 4, 2011.
When I was a kid, I could never sleep without hugging a pillow close to me. My mama can attest to the countless times when I would look for something to hug for me just to fall asleep. I never knew why I grew fond of it. As I turned 8 or was it 7, my mama gave me a small teddy bear and even til now I still have that teddy. From the day I received it til the time I got a new teddy bear, I never let go of it. I can never sleep without it.
It was only til now that I realized why I love having a teddy bear close to me when I’m asleep. Sometimes things happen in reality that are too much for one person to bear and sometimes the people you need the most are never there. It’s because you feel cozy and warm without having to give something back in return. Teddy bears never reject you and they are always there for you whenever you need comforting. I don’t have to put on a lot of effort asides from occassional laundry to keep the teddy clean. I can just be plain, crazy and invisible me. Up until now, I still have a teddy with me in bed. I love being in my room, it is when I am alone that I don’t feel rejected. I love solitude. I don’t have to worry about how people will think of me. I have peace when I see no one and no one sees me.
We all have our escapes, mine is no big secret. You and me are not that different. Just me, my room and my teddy. Every now and then you have to escape to avoid losing yourself.