Monday Musing: Fighting Thoughts of Uncertainty

How often do you doubt yourself?

Today is World Poetry Day! Back in the days, I would spend time writing on my diary and trying to be a poet. I love words and enjoy sulking in their meaning. To celebrate this day, I went through my old blog site to search for past entries. I used to write a lot of free verse on my frustrations in life. To be honest, most of it made people depressed so I decided to shift.

doubt

 

Here is a free verse I wrote on August 4, 2012:

Standing in front of two eternities, sadness and happiness accompany me.

Trying to hold on to the dusts of yesterday, losing grip of what used to be.

Confused with the now as future is pounding at my door.

A bleak promise of tomorrow awaiting outside.

Fears and worries prevent me from moving further, for thoughts of you still linger. Time why do you change things?

Weak and weary but I will trudge on.

Now is my only possession, for the past is dead and tomorrow is unborn.

I sometimes I end up worrying too much about things that it temporarily freezes up my life. As humans the idea of not knowing everything always bothered us. The fear of not being totally in control of our life is an ongoing disease. Sometimes I resort to emotional eating or running. Oftentimes, I run away from uncertainty. After accepting the fact that the unknown will never stop bothering me , I confronted it and welcomed reality.

Having peace within one’s self is never easy. As social beings, we tend to use others or things to solve problems. It takes a lot of strength to fight our own demons and as you might all know, there is nothing more debilitating than self-doubt.

Fear is one of man’s formidable enemies. We do a lot of things that tend to be destructive to ourselves, to others and to relationships. You should not let a shadow consume your entire life. Decide to be positive and pro-active. I chose to do the same. We are all given the opportunity and time to make the best out of our lives.

The most freeing thing you can do for yourself is to hold on to your own abilitie. Believe in your capabilities and know that things happen for the better if you will it.

Do you have these moments too? How do you get over them?

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Life is A Bowl of Cherries

Life is a bowl of cherries. Not everything in life is good but it is up to you to pick out and throw the bad ones.

For the past few months, I have struggled to fix the mess that I have made. Countless rash decisions that led to a domino effect where I found myself hitting rock bottom, I almost lost hope on my life.

We all have made decisions that seemed right at first which turned out wrong. It is easy for us to dwell in those mistakes and punish ourselves for it. I for one am guilty of this, for months I have clung on to these thoughts which debilitated me and left me in a mental and emotional paralysis. Sometimes with all the negativity, we end up thinking that we deserve it and that no matter what we do it will never change. There is nothing worse than being a victim of your own mind.  We can go on and on blaming the world for being unfair, others for not caring and everything else in the universe but it will never free us from ourselves. Luckily, I had good friends who reminded me that I have within me the power to change the world that I am in and though it may seem so complicated it started with one small step, a change in perspective.

It has always been in our nature to act like gods and when we commit errors we become our own executioner. We should not let our mistakes deny us of the beauty that life has for us. To change is to let go, not only of situations or people but also of the need to control life. Life happens and we can only do our best to make the most out of what is given. Do not hold on to the rotten cherries in fear, it only ruins the rest. You cannot choose all the cherries given to you but if you make it a point to keep the good ones, you will have enough to have la dolce vita.

red cherries on stainless steel bowl
Photo by Wendy van Zyl on Pexels.com

“Life is a bowl of cherries. Some cherries are rotten while others are good; its your job to throw out the rotten ones and forget about them while you enjoy eating the ones that are good! There are two kinds of people: those who choose to throw out the good cherries and wallow in all the rotten ones, and those who choose to throw out all the rotten ones and savor all the good ones.”
― C. JoyBell C.