How To Stop Worrying And Start Living

Life is a matter of choice and each day we make a choice between worrying and living.

Do not worry
“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.” ― Roy T. Bennett

Each day, we battle with ourselves, with expectations and with the world. We worry our lives away, seeking for certainty and forgetting what is in the present. When we think too much we paralyze ourselves and stop living. We push ourselves to hard to meet up with what others want and start living by other’s definition. Routines make us robotic and lifeless. We end up burdened and depressed. Worry robs you of your life.

  1. Do these three things: 1. Ask yourself: “What is the worst that can possibly happen?” 2. Prepare to accept it if you have to. 3. Then calmly try to improve on the worst.
  2. Whenever you worry, remind yourself that if you do my best and stay true to yourself there will be nothing left to worry about. You need to realize that power comes from things that you can change. Whenever we let our fears win we become slaves to it.
  3. Surround yourself with people who help you up.The company you keep influences your life. Choose your friends wisely.
  4. Meditate and take time to think. It is not easy to free your mind from all these. It is a struggle at first but when you learn to let go and fully jump into life, things become easier and lighter. Each day goes by like summer breeze.
  5. Focus on what you can change. Whenever we feel helpless, it becomes easier to just stay on beaten. When you start changing things you have control over, you realize that you are not a victim of circumstances.
  6. Focus on what is going right, if you focus on what is wrong you will never see the most that is going right.. Negativity is poison and nothing good ever comes out from it.
  7. Keep smiling and keep fighting. Changing simple physical gestures can make you feel better. None of us will ever live without going through struggles but it does not matter as long as you keep on standing up and striving for the best.
  8. Do not sweat the small stuff. There are bigger things in life to focus about, do not let petty things steal your time.
  9. Be good to yourself. Learn to forgive yourself of shortcomings and mistakes and grow from it.
  10. When we have accepted the worst, we have nothing more to lose but everything to gain.

Do not chose the easy way. Sometimes it is tempting to let problems suck the life out of us, to let problems win over us but we were given will for a reason. I lost a lot of personal battles too and I for one am not immune from worrying. Roadblocks are there not to stop you but to test you on how much belief you have on yourself. When life knocks you out, you sometimes end up sleeping on the floor and you let losing fester in. There were times where I questioned my choices and regret doing things. Just remind yourself that you are born a champion.

Do not worry and fear kill you. Take risks. Break boundaries. Travel to unknown places. Defy norms. Redefine things. Do not accept everything as they are. Fall in love.

Life is for living. Dying is much certain and easier. Living is for the brave.

Get more tips by reading How To Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie.

What is keeping you from living? What are you willing to change? Let me know in the comments below.

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My Miss SCUBA Philippines 2014 Farewell Speech

Back in 2014, I relinquished my crown. My journey ended as Miss SCUBA Philippines 2013. Here is my farewell speech!

Back in 2014, I relinquished my crown. My journey ended as Miss SCUBA Philippines 2013. I got to meet the lucky woman who represented the country in the Miss SCUBA International Finals in Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia that November.

For those who weren’t able to witness, here is the farewell speech that I wrote on a whim.

During Ms. Cebu
During Ms. Cebu

For as long as I can remember, I always had a love for the ocean but I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. It was through Facebook where I first heard of Miss SCUBA and without second thoughts, I went to the screening alone with the dream of finally getting a dive license. However, I did not win Miss SCUBA Philippines 2012, instead, I won as a runner-up, Miss SCUBA Philippines Marine Tourism 2012.

Losing however did not stop me from what I wanted, I was lucky enough to have met the international organizer, Mr. Robert Lo and before 2012 ended, I was appointed to represent the country for Miss SCUBA International 2013. At first, I hesitated, thinking that it was unfair for the rest who would want to represent the country but I eventually knew that it was the opportunity that I have been waiting for.

Just like a ship on a grand journey, I went against several waves to be Miss SCUBA Philippines 2013. I had to sacrifice time and put effort to find sponsors and supporters on my own. On December 8, 2013, I left Manila to with a wallet that was almost empty, a luggage bag filled with thrifted clothes and my borrowed dive equipment. I knew that my life will never be the same once I board the plane. I was worrying about how my stay would be and what would become of me after. I left my country with only a handful of people knew what I was about to do.

With little support, I felt like an unarmed dwarf forging a battle against giants.  The next day after arriving in Kota Kinabalu while I was patiently waiting for another flight, yellow rays started creeping in, slowly taking over the gray clouds which hovered the skyline and just right out of the glass window of the airport, Mt. Kinabalu greeted me with her grandiosity. It reminded me to think big, that very view gave me courage and made ready me for the start of competition.

I opened both heart and mind and got rid of my fear. Each day was filled with laughter shared not only among candidates, but with everyone involved with the pageant. The whole competition seemed like a long vacation.

Fast-forward, I found myself standing together with three other finalists. It was the announcement of winners, I was the only one with no special award of which worried me a lot. In a split second, my name was called.  It was a surreal unexpected moment of triumph. They called me, “Miss SCUBA International First Runner-up”.

Since then, I was able to help communities and contribute in the protection of the marine environment. To my mother Noemi and sister Carrie for the unfailing love, to Sir George for helping me with my dive license, to Aquamundo Sports for providing my dive gears and to Edwin Uy for letting me don his creations for the MSI competition, to my Miss SCUBA International Family, SERALHCO, SAV Hospitality and to everyone who was with me during this journey, I am forever grateful.

I am walking in front of you now as a proof that failure is a natural part of success, road blocks are meant to test you and passion always gets you through. To the next Miss SCUBA Philippines, the dream is yours for the taking, be brave.

I was sad and happy that night because I was giving up familiarity but I also knew a new doors of opportunities were on my way. After that night, I became a co-host for Miss SCUBA International 2014 and in 2015, I became the second national director for Miss SCUBA Philippines and ended up chosing the lady who would become Miss SCUBA International 2015 and the year after the next lady I chose won another First Runner up place for the country.

Cliche as it sounds but every ending is indeed just the beginning of something else.

Have you ever had to say goodbye to an opportunity or someone? How did it go?

 

My Wardrobe Checklist for 5 Months of Backpacking

Planning to go on a month-long trip? Here is my wardrobe checklist for 5 months of backpacking!

I always worry about my luggage when traveling. My obsessive-compulsive side always want to make sure I do not bring too much and most of the time, I barely reach half of my luggage limit.

“The old school of thought would have you believe that you'd be a fool to take on nature without arming yourself with every conceivable measure of safety and comfort under the sun. But that isn't what being in nature is all about. Rather, it's about feeling free, unbounded, shedding the distractions and barriers of our civilization—not bringing them with us.” ― Ryel Kestenbaum, The Ultralight Backpacker: The Complete Guide to Simplicity and Comfort on the Trail
“The old school of thought would have you believe that you’d be a fool to take on nature without arming yourself with every conceivable measure of safety and comfort under the sun. But that isn’t what being in nature is all about. Rather, it’s about feeling free, unbounded, shedding the distractions and barriers of our civilization—not bringing them with us.”
― Ryel Kestenbaum, The Ultralight Backpacker: The Complete Guide to Simplicity and Comfort on the Trail

I am lucky to be gifted with the talent of travelling light. When I went for Malaysia for Ms. SCUBA International 2013, I managed to fit in 25 kilograms two pairs of heels, national costume and with all my dive gears.

The problem most ladies face when doing long-term travel is trying to fit everything into a small luggage. I can recall the sight of my Bb. Pilipinas 2013  co-candidates during our three-day stay in Shangri-La. I felt that I barely brought stuff since I only carried a medium-sized duffel bag while the rest brought ones as huge as dive equipment bags (TBH I will never know what was inside those bags).

Back in 2015, I went to Tacloban and packed for a month of volunteer work which turned out to be longer. It became a 5 month-long wardrobe in a 50 L backpack?

How did I survive?

Here is my list:

TOPS

You can try to have 2 of these in bright colours to add more life to your usual neutrals.
If you are doing PR work, best to have some dressy tops.

4 Tank Tops

4 Shirts – 2 short-sleeved and 2 long-sleeved

Choose ones made from light materials.

1 Windbreaker

Jeans can be heavy though.
You can mix both to create a juxtaposition of sophisticated and casual.

3 Pair of shorts

2 Long Pants/Trousers

1 Pair of Leggings

A-line is safest.

1 Long Skirt

3 Brassieres

You can also choose to bring Nubra (silicone adhesive bras), they are easy to wash and wear.
Basic Undies

4 Pairs of Underwear

1 Sarong/ Cover-up (30 Ways to Use Your Sarong)

Less space consumed by microfiber towels compared to standard cotton ones.

1Towel (Microfiber is best)

1 Pair of Sneakers or Rubber Shoes (Hiking shoes are not as good-looking but they do their job well)

1 Pair of Flip-Flop

1 Pair of Ballerina Flats (For sophisticated moments.)

These are my basics and you can choose to add clothing items depending on where you will be doing volunteer work. If you are backpacking in the Philippines, I suggest you bring ones made of cotton because the humidity will make you sweat like a pig and a pair of joggers and long sleeve shirt will help fend off mosquitoes at night.

Having a hard time deciding which to take? Let George Clooney inspire you or check out this Pinterest Board.

Postcard Stories: Rebel Life

The world tells you to follow but the world do not celebrate those who fit in. Rebels always win! Are you one?

Hi! I am the endangered monkey called Paula. On rare sightings you will see me randomly climbing trees like in this photo while visiting Minalungao National Park in Nueva Ecija (I still need to blog about my experience).

Anyhow, we were laughing a lot when I was monkeying around. People often mistake me to be arrogant when they first meet me because of my natural resting bitch face and my introvert nature but those who end up befriending me know how crazy I can be which leads me to the thought of how many people are really crazy but think that being predictable is better.

The world is a funny place to live in.

First they tell you to follow, be like everyone else so you spend a lot of years being one with the crowd.

You go to university then you get a job. Next thing you know you have a husband/wife plus kid/s and you plan out retirement.

The plot twist though, the world rarely rewards the ones who blend in. It is always the rebels and the crazy ones who are celebrated.

So why blend in?

I tried blending in for 22 years but miserably failed. I got the course my mother thought was practical, I tried working as a nurse for half a year and just broke down after consecutive 16 hours of duty and only getting paid P 7,500 (travelling 4 hours a day without travel allowance). I used to follow everything despite questioning those asked from me. In the end, I could not continue lying to myself and this is why I moved to Manila.

I cannot embrace the stereotypical life and never will, it is never the easiest path to go on your own route. A lot will question your life choices and think you are being irresponsible but in the end it is your life and you are the only person you have to live with. It is far more irresponsible to live unhappy and project this to others. There are already tons of zombies living the typical 9-5 life. It us after all called living not dying.

I do not know about you but I will always be a rebel by birth, by blood and by choice.

Are you a rebel too?

Postcard Stories: The Price of City Life

The question in my mind was “What is independence for you?”, there are times when I stop and think about what moving to Manila has done to me.

 

View of Mandaluyong from Flair Tower
View of Mandaluyong from Flair Tower

I just got back from a Manila trip over the weekend to visit a friend who had lost her father. We had to go to travel around to several cities. We flew in early Saturday morning and news was out about the chaos over NAIA Terminal after a plane landed badly. We then went straight to Quezon City to console our friend. After couple of hours, we went to her condominium to drop our backpacks and freshen up. We were so tired from the trip that we managed to only walk to Megamall to have dinner and look around.

Later that night, as I looked over the skylights. I could not help but think of the years I spent in Manila. The question in my mind was “What is independence for you?”, there are times when I stop and think about what moving to Manila has done to me. There are good things like being more open minded and building grit but somehow I feel that it made me a slave to the shallow side of the world.

In my quest for independence, I ended up in bondage of capitalism.

I am realizing how much of a bliss it was to grow up in a simple city.  While Ormoc is a city, it still feels quite provincial. I grew up at a time when internet was not yet accessible, where books, radio and TV were the main source of content. Back when google did not exist and Grolier Encyclopedia was considered the go-to for reference.

Living in the big city really took a toll on me. It made me a lot more cynical and lost. I met people who did not help me grow instead they helped in my destruction.

Being back in Cebu has given me time to heal and rethink of those ordeals. The lifestyle is a lot laid back and I still get to work in quite an innovative company. I am in a much happier place now, however, I do not know until when I will stay in this city.  Maybe, I will be back again in the city to open a new opportunity.

 

 

Postcard Stories: Miss Fury Kawasaki 2010

Sometimes winning can be easy, you just need to know what the competition is about and understand the company/organisation’s marketing strategy.

Introducing Postcard Stories! I am adding this to my regular post. It is a one photo with short personal story that will either inspire or entertain you.

Eight years ago, I won in a small competition simply by knowing the product and human psychology.

How did I do it?

It was the deciding moment of the Kawasaki Miss Fury 2010 at Mactan, Cebu.

I joined this small competition knowingly because it offered an opportunity to get to know people in the company and a quick way to earn money more than what I was getting paid in my normal job.

It was only three of us who had to answer the final Q&A.

The question was, “If you win a million pesos, what will you do with it?”

For a quick minute I knew that mention of their product would be added points and having a good cause tied to it would instantly be a hit.

My answer: “I will take my Kawasaki motorbike and head to far flung baranggays to share my win and create sustainable businesses so locals are empowered.”

Of course, how can they not let their product win. 😂

Monday Musings: My 2014 Failure

A broken heart and an empty pocket are indeed the best reasons for change. I learned this back in 2014 when I committed several mistakes.

Four years ago around December, I was evicted and had to say goodbye to everything that I owned.

Yes, you read it right. This is a story that I have not dared to tell anyone. Why? Shame stopped me.

As an idealist and an eternal perfectionist, I found it as a hard pill to swallow. Yet it is a part of my past that I look back to not in bitterness but in bliss.

There are usually two perpetrators that creates change in a person’s life, one is voluntary and the other one is compulsory.

As I continued living my big city adventure, I haphazardly decided to devout more time for a relationship, one that I thought was worth throwing everything all away. Little did I know, this choice would bring my worst downfall. No year can ever compare to 2014, for the moment at least, when I took a crazy plunge and fell hard in a deep ravine.

Half blind, I woke up too late from a dream and realising I have made a nightmare.

2014 started quite promising, I just had a major victory winning the first placement for Philippines in Miss SCUBA International. My aim was to take a year off to go full-time on volunteering for causes that I believed in. So I packed my backpack to join an acquaintance on a rebuilding effort in Bantayan Island, Cebu.

I stayed with a local family along with the other volunteers I met during the Typhoon Haiyan evacuation operations at Villamor Airbase. We stayed for about a week then decided we needed to go back. I confidently left a small amount of money to donate for the boats being built by the Bantayan Back to Sea. After spending a big part of my prize money to the cause, we ended up crashing my sister’s place in Cebu as we booked a ticket on the ferry to head back to Manila. Weeks later, we found out that the volunteer who initiated the fundraising scammed us. Joshua Magalong (not certain til this day if this was his real name) ended up stealing the funds we raised, taking my personal donation with him.

Brokenhearted, I decided to stop volunteering for a months focusing on trying to earn money to cover for a contract that I signed up for without knowing the financial burden it placed on me. This contract I signed because I wanted to live with a guy I dated which I found out months after was still seeing his ex girlfriend but since I signed a year-long contract with my name on it, I had to deal with it. I would spend weekends at least 8 hours in summer wear in different computer stores in different malls promoting a certain brand of laptops just to make enough money to pay for rent because I decided that freelance work was better and event modelling would be enough.

May came and I ended up in another relationship that seemed promising. I would spend more time with this person than focusing on making a living to the point of cooking breakfast and lunch daily while trying to get booked for events. I even ended up being a stunt double in one of the local movies.

By the end of November, I was flat broke. Despite my mother’s financial assistance it was not enough. The same month the ex boyfriend left to return to his country and I barely heard from him. He also had his own battles and was still adjusting to life after internship. From then on, it just went downhill. I went out with friends who were promoters and compensated badly. I reached my point of desperation where I could not make any good decisions. I still tried to raise money through side gigs and even putting all my money to compete in an International Competition in China.

I remember the day of my flight, my landlady already gave me a notice for eviction and so I had to leave early for them not to notice. I brought all my stuff and only had enough money to cover for the travel tax. I had to take the bus with all the luggage and walk to the international terminal from the bus stop just because I was low in cash.

I made it to Shenzhen because the modelling agency covered for all my expenses. I would do my best for the next ten-day to compete and be the top candidate. While competition I had gotten a blister which worsened to a full on infection. My left foot was swollen but I could not afford to fail. The girls saw me limping but when I was on stage, I smiled like it did not matter. I had my eyes on the prize. This was my last chance to win a good amount of money to payback my mother and the rent. However, the competition turned out to be fixed and was already planned. I went back to Philippines with worse depression, I did not know what to do. It was almost Christmas and about two days after I took with me a small bag to go with a couchsurfer to walk around Binondo when I went back to my apartment, they asked me to leave.

For Christmas eve, I was homeless but I could not afford to tell anyone else apart from my family. My mother scolded me and told me she would be okay if I got sent in jail. For days, I would just walk around the mall and luckily a friend offered a place for me to sleep. No one knew that I have no other place to go. I just kept pretending everything was okay. I would just sit for hours at the park crying and thinking why I ended up like this. It was only until my sister called saying that she was sending money that I found hope. This is how I ended up in Tacloban. With the little money sent to me, I bought a couple of pieces of clothing and a knock off North Face backpack. On the day that I was about to leave, I made a resolution to let go of everything in Manila. To forget the hurt, the lies and the life. I wanted to rewrite every failure and start to rebuild my life.

“…throw roses into the abyss and say: ‘here is my thanks to the monster who didn’t succeed in swallowing me alive.”

Friedrich Nietzsche, posthumous fragments