The world tells you to follow but the world do not celebrate those who fit in. Rebels always win! Are you one?
Hi! I am the endangered monkey called Paula. On rare sightings you will see me randomly climbing trees like in this photo while visiting Minalungao National Park in Nueva Ecija (I still need to blog about my experience).
Anyhow, we were laughing a lot when I was monkeying around. People often mistake me to be arrogant when they first meet me because of my natural resting bitch face and my introvert nature but those who end up befriending me know how crazy I can be which leads me to the thought of how many people are really crazy but think that being predictable is better.
The world is a funny place to live in.
First they tell you to follow, be like everyone else so you spend a lot of years being one with the crowd.
You go to university then you get a job. Next thing you know you have a husband/wife plus kid/s and you plan out retirement.
The plot twist though, the world rarely rewards the ones who blend in. It is always the rebels and the crazy ones who are celebrated.
So why blend in?
I tried blending in for 22 years but miserably failed. I got the course my mother thought was practical, I tried working as a nurse for half a year and just broke down after consecutive 16 hours of duty and only getting paid P 7,500 (travelling 4 hours a day without travel allowance). I used to follow everything despite questioning those asked from me. In the end, I could not continue lying to myself and this is why I moved to Manila.
I cannot embrace the stereotypical life and never will, it is never the easiest path to go on your own route. A lot will question your life choices and think you are being irresponsible but in the end it is your life and you are the only person you have to live with. It is far more irresponsible to live unhappy and project this to others. There are already tons of zombies living the typical 9-5 life. It us after all called living not dying.
I do not know about you but I will always be a rebel by birth, by blood and by choice.
Are you a rebel too?
Be the best, this is a common line that we hear. Perfection is what we want from others, more than what we expect from ourselves. How many times do we notice our faults over the imperfections of others?
We like to troll all over the internet searching for people’s mistakes. From how they express themselves to how they look. We never fail in looking at what is wrong. But wait, how often do you look at your own reflection?
I too am guilty at times of judging others. I always had a comment about things and how everything is going wrong. Eventually I realised that it as counterproductive. My life is not getting any better with it. I knew how to spot imperfections but refused to see my own. Now, I would rather spend the time trying to always be the better version from who I was. It is the only way to live. If you only give half of what you can, the universe will pay you back in half. Doubts will slowly creep in and plague your thoughts.
“If only I have given it my all.”
Do not give yourself the chance to suffer from this. Put 100% into everything you do. It is the only way for you to live life to the fullest. Dare to reach your maximum capacity. Be relentless in bringing out the best version of you. If you succeed in this then the thoughts of self-doubt will never haunt you.
Do your best and you will live your life more intensely. This will push you to take action. If you take action just for the sake of doing it, without expecting a reward, you will find that you enjoy every action you do. Rewards will come, but you are not attached to the reward. Only with this can you really enjoy life.
“Just do your best — in any circumstance in your life. It doesn’t matter if you are sick or tired, if you always do your best there is no way you can judge yourself. And if you don’t judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment. By always doing your best, you will break a big spell that you have been under.”
― Miguel Ruiz
As what Steve Jobs said, “Do not settle…Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”
What if you could have all the possibilities you want out of life? No more unlived lives. Would living be any better than now?
Monday morning and you find yourself sitting on the desk, contemplating how your long weekend did not turn out to be as exciting as your colleague’s. You then start to check your email hoping to start being productive and in the end, you find yourself browsing over FB looking at how others are living your dream life. You start to wish you were in their shoes. What if I took that job offer? What if I stayed with him? These questions begin to plague your mind. Unlived lives, who doesn’t have them?
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a cat so I could have nine lives. I figured I could live 9 different lives but then again I wonder how much different each would be if I were a cat? Not much I suppose. But we all have an inner craving, we dream of being a millionaire (I prefer to dream more so I think in billions) living a luxurious life where money worries you little, a world explorer visiting beautiful destinations where there are less boundaries, a daredevil pushing oneself to one’s limit with little worried of aging or death, a successful man/woman raising a wonderful family with gorgeous kids with a loving husband/wife and a world icon who is creating a great legacy that will never be forgotten (think Einstein or Mandela level).
These unlived lives are what gives us frustrations and yet we thank them for giving us the motivation to continue living in the present. What would it be like to have none of these? Would you appreciate life more? What we want and what we have both exist for a reason. As Nietzsche puts it,
In our unlived lives we are always more satisfied, far less frustrated versions of ourselves… Our possibilities for satisfaction depend upon our capacity for frustration; if we can’t let ourselves feel our frustration — and, surprisingly, this is a surprisingly difficult thing to do — we can’t get a sense of what it is we might be wanting, and missing, of what might really give us pleasure… That frustration is where we start from; the child’s dawning awareness of himself is an awareness of something necessary not being there. The child becomes present to himself in the absence of something he needs.
Our present lives and the unlived ones shape who we are.
The more we frustrate ourselves in wanting something, the more we value our desire for it… Waiting too long poisons desire, but waiting too little pre-empts it; the imagining is in the waiting… Wanting takes time; partly because it takes some time to get over the resistances to wanting, and partly because we are often unconscious of what it is that we do want. But the worst thing we can be frustrated of is frustration itself; to be deprived of frustration is to be deprived of the possibilities of satisfaction.
Soubrette? What? You probably haven’t heard of this word before, nor did I, up until I came across while reading an online dictionary (one of my geeky diversions). If you know this term then you probably part of the cultured class that appreciates and enjoys theatres and operas.
Soubrette according to Merriam-Webster is a coquettish maid or frivolous young woman in comedies. Although this word is uncommon, it is a usual role that most of us play daily.
Take a moment now and try to see what role you are playing in your own life. Sometimes we get stuck in a support role although we are the script writer and director. It could be because the world is feeding us with a lot of negativism. We get sucked right into a black hole and think we are victims. Either that or we try to avoid the responsibility which is having full control of our life’s script. We get stuck and live like puppets living on strings that other people control. We blame the world for treating us this way and we forget that it is what we ask the world to treat us as. It is up to us to cut those strings.
If what I said just do not make sense, watch Les Brown’s video on getting unstuck:
Stop being a soubrette, you are the lead. Act like one!