I Was Bullied

From childhood until adulthood, I did not escape bullying. Here are some of what I was bullied for:

In a world where perfection is the goal and not individualism, we all go through ordeals for not fitting in.

I saw a recent post on Facebook about bullying and wanted to share a bit of my experience.

I have been bullied on several occasions:

  • Being taunted for not being rich enough to buy new toys while attending a private school
  • Being called stupid for not knowing how to play badminton because I was never exposed to it as a child
  • Being called a weak CAT officer r having fainting spells in high school because of migraine
  • Being treated as less intelligent just because I come from a smaller city and was defending our group’s science project from someone who never contributed to the creation
  • Being called ugly for not being white enough, not having fake nose and not having veneers while joining Binibining Pilipinas

What were you bullied for?

I remember writing a blog entry about the haters during Binibining Pilipinas and here it is:

I know joining Bb. Pilipinas would mean allowing everyone to have a say on your beauty and I am not new to getting negative comments on how I look.

I found out at an early age how most of the Filipinos prefer fair-skinned and those who are half of something.
Here are just some of harsh words that some people told me.

1. You are ugly.
2. You don’t have the face to make it to a pageant.
3. You look like our maid/katulong.
4. Your teeth are ugly.
5. You look like one of the girls who are out at night looking for foreigners.
6. You will never make it.
7. You are just intelligent, join a quiz bee not a pageant.
8. You are weak and useless.
9. No guy will ever love you.
10. Why did you make it to the final 50 candidates, there are prettier girls than you.

What do I say to them?

I say nothing. I am the type of girl who would never let other’s judgement put me down. I have been dealing with negativity since I was young.

After being told I don’t have the looks to make it to a pageant, I trained hard and won First Runner Up in Bb. Ormoc 2009.

What I do is simple, I use those negativity to push me further up. It makes me work harder and I always see it as a challenge to prove them wrong.

The only mistake one can make in this life is to allow people to get the best of you and ruin your life.

Always think past the negativity, being positive in yourself and the people around you are the only options to make the most out of life.

Be happy, not everyone will like you but make sure to live a life that will make you into someone you yourself will love.

For me, beauty will always be more than a physical attribute. People can judge you on how you look.

Beauty from within will always be eternal and it’s the kind of beauty that makes this world livable and beautiful.

So don’t fret and ditch the negativity.

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Monday Musing : The Harshest Judge

How do you see yourself? When I started with psychology in university, our professor introduced me to the concept of Johari’s window. The window had four divisions each representing a different perspective of oneself. We had to make our version as a way to raise self-awareness.

Last week, a social experiment became viral. It spoke about how we perceive ourselves and our success.

Admittedly, I they asked me to score myself, I would also be like the participants. I am certain I would give myself a failing mark. This is because we tend to be our worst judge. While others see our success, we usually focus on our failures and we compare ourselves with colleagues and the rest.

Do not focus to much on one viewpoint. Remind yourself that there are 3 more views to be seen. Focus on weakness and work to improve it but do not let it imprison you. You are not bound to them, they are only temporary. Give yourself a break and be your number one advocate.