Monday Musing: Fighting Thoughts of Uncertainty

How often do you doubt yourself?

Today is World Poetry Day! Back in the days, I would spend time writing on my diary and trying to be a poet. I love words and enjoy sulking in their meaning. To celebrate this day, I went through my old blog site to search for past entries. I used to write a lot of free verse on my frustrations in life. To be honest, most of it made people depressed so I decided to shift.

doubt

 

Here is a free verse I wrote on August 4, 2012:

Standing in front of two eternities, sadness and happiness accompany me.

Trying to hold on to the dusts of yesterday, losing grip of what used to be.

Confused with the now as future is pounding at my door.

A bleak promise of tomorrow awaiting outside.

Fears and worries prevent me from moving further, for thoughts of you still linger. Time why do you change things?

Weak and weary but I will trudge on.

Now is my only possession, for the past is dead and tomorrow is unborn.

I sometimes I end up worrying too much about things that it temporarily freezes up my life. As humans the idea of not knowing everything always bothered us. The fear of not being totally in control of our life is an ongoing disease. Sometimes I resort to emotional eating or running. Oftentimes, I run away from uncertainty. After accepting the fact that the unknown will never stop bothering me , I confronted it and welcomed reality.

Having peace within one’s self is never easy. As social beings, we tend to use others or things to solve problems. It takes a lot of strength to fight our own demons and as you might all know, there is nothing more debilitating than self-doubt.

Fear is one of man’s formidable enemies. We do a lot of things that tend to be destructive to ourselves, to others and to relationships. You should not let a shadow consume your entire life. Decide to be positive and pro-active. I chose to do the same. We are all given the opportunity and time to make the best out of our lives.

The most freeing thing you can do for yourself is to hold on to your own abilitie. Believe in your capabilities and know that things happen for the better if you will it.

Do you have these moments too? How do you get over them?

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Monday Musings: The White Rabbit

Anyone who has read or watched Alice in Wonderland would remember the White Rabbit. He is the first character that Alice meets. Manic and frantic he is always on a rush. Most of us are like the White Rabbit.

Worry

How many times do you go through a day worrying about time, about the past or the future? I sometimes wonder why is it part of our nature to be so concerned about controlling life?

I am one of the control freaks. I like to plan things out. Although I appreciate surprises, I would prefer to know what will happen next. Maybe being a girl scout is partly to blame for it. Always ready, this is never leaves my mind. I end up worrying about everything. When I travel, I search for every detail and oftentimes I end up frustrated. I spend so much time worrying that I fall into a pit. Every detail has to be thought out, nothing to be left out of consideration. 

Age does things to you, it teaches you to be patient and accepting of life. As the year passed by, I eventually became laid back though there are instances where I would still want control over things.

Here is a thorough lecture on our addiction to control. by Alan Watts

We want our forever to be good but reality reminds us that forever is never here. It always avoids us and as we spend our seconds looking forward or back, we miss out on life. Everything in this world has a function. When we give up controlling life, we end up gaining it. Trust life to have power over it.

Now could be your only forever.

What is known is known, and there is no use worrying about it. One can accept it, reject it, work to change it, or try to ignore it, but what is, is. The true field of freedom is in consideration of what is not, what might be, what we think.

-Eric Rabkin